And the Events continue…. Celebrity Event at Macy’s Part 1

I swear, 6 PM to 9 PM must be the holy, or unholy (depending on your opinion), event hours because the majority of weekday events seem to happen at exactly that time. Today was further proof, because there were four, yes, FOUR, events happening during that window. Two ran from 6 PM to 8 PM, and the other two from 6 PM to 9 PM.

Today also happens to be my friend Zia’s* birthday. She wanted to celebrate by going to see some live music, but thankfully, that doesn’t start until 9:30 PM. Which means, in theory, we had plenty of time to squeeze in a few events beforehand. And by “a few,” I apparently meant four.

We start at Macy’s Herald Square for the first two events, both Calvin Klein Underwear events. Zia* is supposed to meet me at 6 PM at the 6th Avenue entrance. I arrive at 5:50 PM and wait.

As I’m standing there waiting for her (she eventually arrives at 6:05 PM), I notice something interesting: a black sedan with tinted windows, followed by an NYC cop car. Directly behind that is a black SUV with tinted windows and its lights flashing, followed by another black sedan, also with tinted windows and flashing lights. This could only mean one thing.

**A celebrity is in the house.**

Who it is, I never find out. And honestly, considering the way I’m feeling at this point, with something suspicious happening to my throat, who the hell cares? There are apparently bigger problems to deal with.

Zia arrives, and we make it to the first event, the Calvin Klein Seductive Comfort Launch Party with InStyle Magazine on the 6th floor. We walk in and are greeted with models on a platform

and waiters circulate with hors d’oeuvres and glasses of water with lime. I immediately grab the water because I’m determined to destroy whatever the hell is happening with my throat. Zia*, meanwhile, makes a beeline for her favorite: **champagne**.

This, naturally, leads to a conversation about how she’s been drinking more lately because she’s attending more events. I tell her it must be really hard to suffer so much. 😂 Much laughter ensues.

The hors d’oeuvres look delicious, and the one time we actually took what was being offered, it tasted great. But honestly, we were far more intrigued by the real prize of the evening: a free pair of Calvin Klein plush slippers for trying on the new bra. Free slippers? YAY!!

We get fitted, although apparently I am incapable of knowing my own bra size. I tell the Macy’s representative that I’m a 34D. She insists I’m a 36C.

Righttttttttttttt.

Because obviously she knows my “grrrls” better than I do. By the way, ladies, did you know you’re supposed to change your bra every six months? Who knew?! Apparently, I have been living dangerously.

Zia* and I are basically at opposite ends of the “grrrls” spectrum. She wants more. I want less. Neither of us is particularly happy with what we’ve been given. Nature can be so cruel.

We each get what seems like approximately 50 bras to try on. Okay, fine, it was six. But six bras are still a lot when you’re standing around at an event trying to decide whether your “grrrls” are being properly supported.

I try on one because they’re all the same size, just different colors. And guess what? Quelle surprise! The cups are too small for me, and the band is too large to provide the proper support. What do you know?

I guess I DO know my “grrrls” better than the Macy’s representative.

Zia’s luck isn’t much better. Her try-ons don’t go particularly well either, and by the look on her face, she is not impressed with the situation. Then something very “funny/weird/pathetic?” happens in the fitting rooms.

There are only two fitting rooms available to us, so naturally there’s a little line forming. Everyone is trying on bras, including one older woman who seems to be taking forever.

She would come out of the fitting room, grab another bra, and head right back in. I, along with the other women waiting for our turn, find this a little strange. But when someone asks the fitting-room attendant about it, she assures us there’s no limit to the number of bras you can take in to try on. Okay then.

Eventually, the woman comes flying out of the fitting room, looking like she’s in a hurry. We don’t think much of it. Frankly, we’re just happy the line is moving. Then the fitting-room attendant goes in to clear out the room for the next person.

And lo and behold…On the floor is a security tag from one of the bras. The older woman stole a bra. It appears she walked right out of the store wearing it. I mean…come on. It’s a bra. Granted, it was a $44 bra, but still. Really? A bra?! Anyway, back to the event.

I actually do find a bra that works for me, so not only do I get the coveted Calvin Klein slippers, but I also get a hardcover copy of InStyle’s Style 101. Score! Off to the register I go. But alas, it is not meant to be.

Now, I must point out that I haven’t purchased anything from Macy’s in about six months, maybe even longer. I wasn’t worried, though, because I’ve been diligently paying off my rather large Macy’s bill. But still… The shock of my life. I’ve been declined. Whaaaaaat?! HUH?!

Apparently, if you haven’t used your Macy’s account for a while, you have to make a little “Hello, I’m still alive!” phone call to them before you can use it again. Who knew? So sadly, there will be no new over-the-shoulder-boulder-holder for the “grrrls” tonight. And I even had a 20% off coupon. But hey…

I still got the slippers. And really, isn’t that what matters?

You learn something new every day. In my case, apparently, you can learn multiple things in a single day. We grab one more drink, water again for me and champagne for Zia, and head off to our next Calvin Klein event at Macy’s: a meet-and-greet with Calvin Klein’s new male model for their Body line, Garrett Neff.

We arrive about an hour and a half early to find a DJ and an employee setting up iPod Shuffles on a table. At this point, I’m starting to wonder if Apple donated all of its excess Shuffles to event planners. First PUMA yesterday, and now Macy’s today. Apparently, spend $50 or so, and you get a free Shuffle. But there’s one small problem. No Garrett.

Turns out, we’re on the wrong floor. The event is actually happening on the lower level. Lower level. Men’s undies. Going down. If you’re not familiar with the BBC’s hilarious show *Are You Being Served?*, you should acquaint yourself. It’s highlarious, and that particular phrase immediately comes to mind.

Zia and I finally made it downstairs, but now we have to hustle because we still have two more events to attend, and it’s already a little after 7 PM. Wine is being served, but we don’t partake. There’s also a line forming to meet Garrett, but unfortunately, we don’t have time for that either.

So I do what any dedicated event-goer would do: I make nice with security, wander around, and manage to snap these two shots. Damn it. He’s fully clothed. I mean, I came all this way. The least Calvin Klein could do is cooperate with the assignment. Anyway, with two more events waiting for us, we turn around and head out.

Luckily, I noticed a poster of Garrett in his Calvin Klein poster – this will have to do (yummy – boy do I need a date).

We are in and out in about 10 minutes – high ho, high ho, it’s off to Barney’s we go for the Barney’s/Allura Spa Magazine Launch.

Part 2 coming soon

*Some names have been changed to protect the permanently shy and those possibly under witness protection